Secret Santa or White Elephant: how to choose
Choose Secret Santa when people can't be together or know each other well. Choose White Elephant for a single party, in person or on video, where a lively game matters more than a personal gift.
Secret Santa and White Elephant are often mentioned together, and they're both gift exchanges, but they feel very different. One is quiet and personal, and the other is loud and competitive. Choosing between them comes down to your group, your venue and how much time you have.
The core difference
In a Secret Santa, names are drawn in advance. Each person buys a gift for one specific person and gives it anonymously. The gift is chosen with that person in mind.
In a White Elephant, nobody is assigned a recipient. Everyone brings a wrapped gift to a party, and people take turns opening new gifts or stealing ones that are already open. Gifts are chosen to appeal to anyone.
That one difference produces nearly everything else.
Side by side
| Secret Santa | White Elephant | |
|---|---|---|
| Who receives your gift | One person you were assigned | Whoever ends up holding it |
| Gift choice | Personal, chosen for them | General and fun, chosen for anyone |
| Planning | A draw, a private message and a deadline | A budget, wrapped gifts and a room |
| Where it works | In person or at a distance | Everyone together, in a room or on video |
| How long it takes | Weeks of quiet shopping | One event of 30 to 60 minutes |
| Mood | Thoughtful | A game |
| Fairness depends on | The giver's effort | Partly the luck of your number |
Choose Secret Santa when
- Your group knows each other well enough to choose personal gifts.
- People can't all be in the same place, for example a remote team or a family in several cities.
- You want to give people time to shop and to think.
- Your group includes people who dislike competitive games or being put on the spot.
- You want everyone to receive a gift chosen just for them.
Choose White Elephant when
- You have a party or a meeting where everyone is together.
- The group doesn't know each other well, so choosing a personal gift would be a guess.
- You have a short window, such as a one-hour office lunch.
- Your group loves banter and good-natured competition.
- You want a social activity, and not just a gift exchange.
What about a hybrid?
You can combine the best of both:
- Secret Santa with a reveal game. Do a normal draw and then open gifts at a party, guessing the givers.
- White Elephant with a theme. Ask everyone to bring a gift in a category, such as something for the kitchen or a book.
- Two events. A Secret Santa among close friends, and a White Elephant at the wider party.
A quick way to decide
Ask three questions:
- Will everyone be in the same place at the same time? If not, choose Secret Santa.
- Do people know each other well? If not, White Elephant avoids the awkwardness of a personal gift.
- Do you want a game or a gift? A game points to White Elephant, and a gift points to Secret Santa.
Frequently asked questions
Can we do both?
Yes, though it's a lot of gifts. If you want to do both, make the budget for one of them small.
Which is better for an office?
Either can work. White Elephant fits a single lunch, and Secret Santa suits a team that wants a longer, quieter tradition. In both cases, keep it optional and set a modest budget. See office gift exchanges.
Which is easier to organize?
White Elephant needs almost no setup, just a budget, a date, and someone to run the game. Secret Santa needs a draw and a way to tell everyone privately, which is where an organizer tool helps.
Keep reading
- Secret Santa rules: the classic rules and how to adapt them
The classic rules, why they exist, and the house rules that stop arguments before they start.
- White Elephant rules: how the game works, from setup to the last steal
How to play, how stealing works, and the rules to agree on before the first gift is opened.
- How to set a gift exchange budget (and what to do when people go over)
How to pick a number that feels fair to everyone, and what to do when someone ignores it.